My Plans

Let me introduce myself: Neal. I'm thirteen years old, and I live in Massachusetts. Every once in a while, I'll post more about myself in the "Brutal Honesty" series of posts so that you can know more about who I am and how I think. I thought, however, that it'd be more prudent for me to write a post giving more insight into who I am/was as a one-time thing.

I was born in Manhattan on January 27, 1995 and moved to Massachusetts in December of that year. I've been living in Massachusetts ever since. I play basketball and soccer, but I'm not at all athletic. I'm not obese, but I am overweight by quite a bit. In earlier years, I was obsessed with gaming. I joined my (former) gaming clan, [A27], in 2006. I was one of the more active members until I left the clan on January 28, 2009, the day after my 14th birthday. Even though it seems unimportant, this is one key aspect of my life which I'd like to shed light on.

On January 27, 2009, I had a revelation that led me to change my life. It's hard to explain it in words, but essentially, I learned a concept: You can live without living life. That may sound ambiguous at first, but it means that many people are wasting their lives away and therefore each person should cherish their life. Take all opportunity, even when you don't feel like it; have no regrets. That revelation led me to think about my past (which I will elaborate on later). It also led me to a conclusion: I was living without living life. Therefore, I decided on a solution: retake my life.

In order to retake my life, I set a goal for myself. It is not my permanent goal, but the only way to move forward in life is to set a goal. Once you achieve your goal, you move to the next goal. I also set an "ultimate goal" which I can never attain.

My ultimate goal: perfection. No one can ever be perfect, but by setting that as my ultimate goal I am compelling myself to work hard in everything I do so that I can get closer to perfection. I used to be the kind of person who doesn't work hard at anything; I'd always slack. My favorite words to use were "I don't care," or "I don't give a shit." Now, however, I'm trying to gain a work ethic, which is why I picked perfection as my ultimate goal.

My current short-term goal: weight loss. I can't achieve any other goals I want with my weight; therefore, weight loss is the most important as of right now.

The main reason I'm overweight is because I eat too much and don't exercise enough (doh!). To solve this, I'm going to the gym every morning and eating less. Sadly, even that is not enough to do all I want to do in the timeframe I want it done in.

I set lofty goals so that I can struggle to achieve them. When I fail, I will not be discouraged; I must simply try harder to achieve them in the new timeframe. My goal is to lose thirty pounds of fat and gain fifteen pounds of muscle by September; the possibility of this happening is low. Therefore, I'll be satisfied if I lose at least fifteen pounds in fat (but I'm still going to push so I can do more).

I don't feel like saying anything more from now. More to come.

- N.R.

Brutal Honesty, Part Two

I am observant.
Like an eagle, soaring through the air,
Taking in all it sees.
You would never know that by talking to me; I try to be discreet.
By not allowing people to realize what I know,
I can claim ignorance.

It really upsets me that NBC is the least-popular of the Big Four TV networks.
I don't watch much TV, but seriously.
30 Rock.
The Office.
Saturday Night Live.
And so many other good shows that I don't care for.

I'm overweight. Not obese, but I'm above my ideal weight.
It sucks.
I signed up at the gym last year.
I try to go there every morning.
But I haven't been in a week.
Just been too busy.
But then I asked...
Busy with what?
That is why, today, I publicly make a pledge.
I want to lose at least fifteen pounds by September.
Can I do it? Probably.
Will I do it? To be determined.

The only way to be completely honest is to never lie.
No matter how embarrassing an answer is.
No matter how hard it is for you to an answer a question honestly.
My second pledge, therefore, is a pledge of honesty.
I will still lie; everyone does.
But, I will strive not to. Just remind me of my pledge.
Then ask me anything.
No matter how hard it is for me to answer, I will.
That is my second pledge.

Politics.
I consider myself a rational liberal.
I will be a member of the Democratic Party.
But that doesn't necessarily mean I always agree with them.
I am my own person, and I have my own opinions.
I am rational.
I don't feel the need to outline my full political agenda now;
That, my friends, is reserved for the future of the blog.

If the blog has a future.
(It does.)

Brutal Honesty, Part One

Neal.
January 27, 1995.
Both parents born in Bangladesh; I was born in Manhattan.
Moved to Massachusetts before I turned one; it's my home now.
Arrogant, but still claims it's just confidence.
Known online as "Flame BV".
Former gamer, but only play every once in a while now.
Have created numerous websites. All are now shut down, except for this blog.
I think I'm smart. Is that wrong?

Music takes me through a journey.
My tastes change as my life changes.
It allows me a form of self-expression.
So does this blog.
I feel like I'm not achieving anything.
Bubbling over with thoughts and ideas.
My perceptions of the world, wasted.
Throwing them away as if they don't matter.
This is the reason for "The Blatant Arrogance".

No longer arrogant, the title of the blog is personal.
When I was younger, I thought I was "the shit".
Not anymore.
Learning from your mistakes is how we grow; the title of the blog reminds me of mine.

The purpose of this blog cannot be described. But I'll try anyways.
It's a place for the release of my thoughts and experiences.
Personal, emotional, political, anything I feel like.
From the concrete to the abstract.
This is the first of many posts to come.
This is "The Blatant Arrogance".